How to heal your fears.


The couple and the flower girl

Image by Photomatt28 via Flickr

It was John Clarke who said “Go back a little to leap further.”

In my last post, (http://maggielr.com/2011/10/09/is-fear-of-failure-blocking-your-success/ ) I discussed fears.

I suggest recalling the time that you first experienced a fear. I suggest using a journal to write the details by answering some questions. Who was with you? What was said? What did you do? Seeing the details of the trauma of the experience is the first step in the healing of your memories. Once the painful memory is healed, the fear has no more power over your mind.

I remember a time when I was very young. I was asked to be the flower girl in a wedding. I felt so special. I felt so pretty in my new dress and shoes. I was very shy and at the rehearsal I was scared. There were a lot of strangers there. The groom, who I thought was so important, started yelling and told my mother to get me out of there. He said I was useless and was going to ruin everything. I remember the feeling of failure. I believed the lie: I was useless. They told I was not going to be the flower girl. I felt like I spoiled the wedding, I felt like a failure.

The situation left me with the feeling that I was worthless. I believed that I could not succeed so I better not try. This way I could avoid the embarrassment of failure. I was not going to be yelled at again. My fear of failure ruled my life for a long time.

A few years ago, I went to  a Christian counsellor. With his help, I was able to look at the situation with new eyes. He helped me go back and recall the events. I could see myself as the victim.  I saw a little girl who was scared. I was able to see a little girl who did nothing wrong. I could understand that I did not fail but rather, I was never given the chance to succeed. I was able to understand with my adult thinking, the stress everyone is under at a time like that. I was able to forgive my mother for taking me home and the groom for treating me so horribly. With forgiveness, the situation no longer has any power over me.  I have been able to let that go.  Now I am able to recall the incident without the pain, so I know that I am healed.

I have been able to release the fear of heights in the same way. I had a terrible fear of falling. There was a time when I was scared to climb to the third rung of a ladder. I was taught to fear as a child. Through the same method of going back into my memories and dealing with the trauma of my early years, my fear of heights is a thing of the past and I am able to stand on the top of a ladder to paint and I am able to climb a ladder to clean the eaves troughs. I can sit on the edge of the cliff and look down. Freedom came to me and it can come to you too.

It is better to have a professional to help you through this process. I suggest that you find a Christian counsellor to aid you with the healing of your memories.

2 Timothy 1:7 says: “For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.”

You have the power to overcome your fears. Fear comes from our enemy. We must not allow fears to rule us.

as Rudyard Kipling said: “Of all the liars in the world,  sometimes the worst are your fears.”

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About Maggie L R

I want to add colour to my life, I want to take each day and make it my own. I love simple pleasures. A hot cup of coffee in the early morning on the deck watching the dog chase the ball. The expressions on the faces of my grandchildren. I love to explore, to take a road I have never been on and see what unfolds. I love to travel. I love a challenge. I have decided I want to live a long and healthy life so I have challenged myself to get into shape both physically and mentally.
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3 Responses to How to heal your fears.

  1. Great post! Inspiring:)

  2. edebock says:

    Awesome post, Maggie! Thanks for sharing not only your painful memory and its long term effects but also the route to forgiveness and healing.

  3. Pingback: Positive Thinking and Self-Healing | QUOTES OF ENCOURAGEMENT

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